Thursday, February 25, 2010

Love - Giving and Taking

“Love is sublime”

A quote truly written with a deep thought, a perspective of one’s emotions, a feeling of care, warmth and affection and all other psychological admonishing sensitivities coined and known universally as LOVE. What is Love? The Lexicon interprets it as “deep affection or fondness.” But, many call love to be universal, and that it may appear to be surreal or vary in forms. Yet, it is a phenomenon in this world that can never ever be affected by anything and will remain to be everlasting.

Love, a four letter word is a complex terminology. Why? And the answer is vast, not measurable and intense. Parental love, b
rother-sister love, neighbor’s love, relative’s love, stranger’s love and so on and so forth. Each of it is unique in its own sense, totally different when it comes to terrible situations, challenges our actions and tests our patience, energizes, aspires, inspires people to do things for the sake of love. God made man or however the religious and the science theories of evolution of human kind project; one thing is for certain that we exist at least in a scarce nonchalant harmony for the simple reason that we love ourselves, others, strangers and everything else available, exploitable and harnessed. While sometimes, love happens even before we could think, more often than we rather think; it turns out to be a peculiar, closed, personal and abstract time phase of belongingness.

After these intricate details and an effort to build up the glossary of love parameters, I find that love is an experience and this experience can be given or taken. Love isn’t a tit-for-tat condition, a give and take policy that needs a memorandum of understanding unlike all our evocative bureaucrats. Nor is it a one sided affair like a road that restricts two way traffic because a white ambassador is speeding with it’s beacon light making sounds and revolving that appears like an ambulance in emergency.

Quoting one of my favorite lines from the movie The Holiday, where my darling Kate Winslet gives her opening powerful monologue “I have found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose, I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. It’s called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. Oh god, just the sight of the person! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms.” Hats off to Nancy Meyers for bringing such appalling meaningful treat on love that has made this romcom a hit.

Now, let’s go back to my Love. Wouldn’t call it mutual. Invariably love as a feeling becomes personal and close. A mother’s love to her child is unique and nothing can be compared to this love; friendship is also a form of love that binds people for times, a youthful love advances from infatuation to relationship. The question arises as to if love could be measured? A big No! Why? Because it is not a physical quantity. Hello! Wasn’t love supposed to evolve from humans who are physical? Then why can’t love be measured? While some say, just like every morsel of rice or crystal of sugar can’t be counted so is love. The eternal combination and over usage of uncountable nouns right from our textbooks to emotional mother-in-law movies. That being said, love has its own exceptions. Can love be sold? Yes! In kind for sure, helping people because you love them or as Nancy Meyers says that love can also be found for the night, in my interpretation by paying, as all those helpless souls do. However, when love as an entity becomes factual i.e. people tend to utilize love for personal favors or gains then that is called opportunistic love. And contrastingly, when love becomes partial, it creates envy, jealousy and finally leads to hatred, revenge and destruction. When love grows so intense that it becomes ever so difficult to even carry out your basic activities with ease. It’s the highly distraught form… The possessive love: a dangerous one that has today becomes the cause of terrorism, wars, murders, extreme gender inequalities and other heinous crimes. While possessive love is good, exceeding its limits gives room to suspicion, lack of trust, adamancy to do things come what may; while religion, marriage, values and virtues, level of liking and the sacrifice to give care and warmth become the main contributors.

Taking love from others? Honestly, it’s as difficult as it may sound. Our brain is so complex that we at the very thought of liking something, pounce upon and grab it. And when it comes to love, we take our own leisure time to think, to analyze, and exhibit. The probing question: If love if impromptu, why is love never given back? People give and expect love and when they don’t receive the same, feel ashamed, humiliated and embarrassed and at times go to the verge of killing oneself. Be it suicide bombers in the name of religion or the martyrs of war sacrificing their lives. All for the sake of love!

People should start reciprocating to one another in a down-to-earth attitude, show care and concern to others and more importantly help your loved ones in you own small way. And doing this not only makes them happy but out of impulse expresses love. While love is felt emotionally, it is like a photo album - the reflection of memories clubbed with emotions and feelings that make us laugh, smile, cry, hug and over all send that sms or make that call or plainly write a mail. So, giving and taking love mutually exist but it’s always good to go the extra mile and give love and not expect love in return. Doing so will build up your persona in a conventional way. At the same time, have a heart to give more and remember only the good and fond memories for times to come.

Begin to give and take love because we know “Love is precious!”

Inclusions

If there were to be a certainty of how well you can define your consciousness being addicted to pleasure; it definitely does predefine the longings and cravings of those timid notions haunting you for all the wrong and right reasons. It’s not something that is uncommonly different. It’s just a matter of getting a kick at an uncertain time and makes it an inclusive thought-set. I have always been fascinated by the sheer power of how eyes can drool at an entity, an image of expression, an emotion that is predictable yet in suspense. How you can at times think that it’s better to stare than approach and demand what you wanted.


We all are surrealists and tend to stare at others, create challenges that are vivid, try to make up to things that we have lost or plainly stay put in our enclosed kingdoms for misconceptions and inhibitions. However, speaking things and doing things is different and practicalities are always countable. Even though we muster enough courage to break the usual syndromes, I don't think it's just as easy it seems. But truly, it's important to be what you Want to be and not what others want you to be/do. Such Hippocrates are a plenty but we tend to follow what others have shown just to be in their good books. That apart, idiosyncrasies do remain... nonetheless, being artistic is creative, and being surrealistic is mentally surreal-ed!


Having said that, I have survived these inclusions and still remain frantic of what I can possess and reclaim. Out of what my life is, I cannot predict as to what people can accuse or abuse one’s notions or persona because of their inability to retort back. As well, I have known this over a period of time that jealousy and hatred are complex psychic characters that have been profusely infiltrating man’s brains ever since he has become a citizen of being in the state of nature. Whatever your ideas are, leave the others to explore and transform and not rebuke at what they can’t. I have read enough of itineraries and after every one of them, exclusions and conditions apply follow suit. So I strongly believe that no matter how people include or exclude you, face that big broad smile, throw some attitude and agree to the fact that you are unique in your own way. For if there are inclusions, there are always exclusions and conditions do apply for all those seekers of conditional packaged closeness. Until then, don’t keep bragging about being outside the league but put a step forward, hit the road of societal blues and get your ball rolling as you succeed. And just as I learn, every journey is a new way of experiencing oneself and the world around. And it hardly matters if it’s with or without inclusions especially when you like what you are doing!


Cheers to the inclusive times. Au revoir!